This appeared in Mumbai Mirror today....
Report Card from Lahore….
“Jisne Lahore nahi vekhiya, oh jamiya hi nahi,” goes the Lahori saying. Loosely translated, it means “ One who hasn’t seen Lahore, hasn’t been born.” Okaaaay! Let’s forgive the hyperbole, and get real. Lahore is indeed special ( I have become half-Lahori!). And I am beginning to fall under its spell. It is the drama of it all. As we crossed the Wagah checkpoint on our way home, we found a bank of tv cameras on the Pakistani side. “What’s happening?” I chattily asked a burly, 7 feet tall commando. He snarled, “Hindustan se qaidi aa rahein hain.” Oh oh. Dicey. That explained the presence of so many weapons and toughies from both sides. I kept my fingers crossed we wouldn’t be caught in any crossfire, bombings, explosions .Within minutes an Indian ambulance reversed to the edge of the heavy gate, while a Pakistani ambulance did the same. An unmarked coffin was brought out and opened. I was two feet away from the action and watching keenly. The body was being carefully examined when I instinctively reached for my camera (damn! The journo in me struck again!). My husband acted in a flash and stopped me from clicking. That was close. Had I recklessly clicked, our bodies may have returned in the Indian ambulance! The quaidi’s coffin was hastily transferred into the waiting Pakistani ambulance. And that was that. Our Pakistani porter wryly commented that Pakistani prisoners from India are released in twos and threes, while Pakistan is far more generous when it comes to freeing our quaidis.Really????
Spring was in the air. And the Lit Fest ( vibrantly alive!) had defiantly marked the banned festival of Basant by covering countless sofas and gaddis on the lawns of the award winning Alhamra Arts Complex in bright yellow satin.There were other subtle protests, like the artistically painted autoricks carrying social messages of peace (you can sponsor one for just 1,500 rupees) that were parked inside the complex.This was to counter the aggressive religious propaganda on autos which dart in and out of traffic across the city. Nice! Despite all the political mayhem, the Lit Fest generated strong voices, speaking up fearlessly against oppression. At the Punjab Governor’s reception for delegates, hosted at his magnificent mansion (“ the lawns here are bigger than those around Buckingham Palace”, boasted a local), nobody spoke in whispers or used politically correct lingo. The outspoken activist/feminist ,legendary writer Fahmida Riaz, repeatedly and loudly cribbed she was missing alcohol! Someone else joked, “What a laugh! A cocktail party without cocktails!” But certain resourceful people in our group managed to get around this troublesome detail quite efficiently!
Mohsin Hamid made up for the lapse the next night by hosting an elegant party( unlimited cocktails!) at his mother-in-law’s stylish Italian restaurant, Cosa Nostra. Vikram Seth held forth, as did Mira Nair, while Hanif Kureishi giggled naughtily by the fire place. The ravishing Begums of Lahore twirled and preened in their chinchilla wraps and antique Tooshes, their delicate hands balancing heavy whiskey tumblers.
But the amusing message to India was delivered by Mehr Tarar – the tireless tweeter, also known as the ‘other woman’ in the Shashi Tharoor- Sunanda Pushkar tragedy. Clad in a fitted short skirt and knee high boots, she told me to convey this to those who are hounding her on both sides of the border: “ Sunanda ruined my life and reputation by calling me an ISI agent. She also ruined her own husband’s political career by making all those false allegations.I did not have an affair with Shashi. I am not a stalker. But now my name is permanently linked to theirs and gets thrown up each time you google them. I have become a part of their lives! I want to request India to leave me alone. I feel really bad that Shashi may not get a ticket because of all this.” Message over. Strange that Mehr (“ Please spell my name correctly. It is ‘Mehr’, like Mehr Jessia spells it”) is more worried about Tharoor’s political future, than the tragic death of Sunanda (“ What did she get by killing herself…look at the number of lives she ruined!”). Those boots are definitely made for walking!!!
Lahori generosity and hospitality are hard to match, as we all know. Whether it was the extravagant farewell dinner hosted by one of Pakistan’s wealthiest and most influential families, Sehyr and Naseem Saigol, in their opulent home, or the spontaneous hug of a hairdresser at the gymkhana’s salon, who refused to accept a tip saying sweetly, “Aap hamarey mehmaan ho”, every single interaction was warm and wonderful.
If only our governments would pull back on hate politics and foster positive ties, people on both sides of the border would be so much happier. But that won’t suit anybody, would it? Least of all, those Generals who need the war machine for their own survival.